living fully alive

My day off. It's raining;has been since I woke up. They go together. It creates a sense of reflection in one's head, I suppose. I spent some time at BAM today, studying, reading, journaling. Me and God time. People's heads go tilt when you open a Bible in a coffee shop, and old business women look at you like you're drooling. funny.
I've come to realize my life is a day-by-day experiment. How far can I push things? How much can I learn? How quickly can I hear God answer after I ask him a question?
My mother told me a story recently about when she was 13 and was just beginning to learn what faith truly meant. She was in love with Donnie Osmand and saw that he and his siblings were coming to town, so she decided to stretch her faith. She prayed for God to provide a way to go to the concert. He did so the same day. So then she decided she would test her limits... see how far this faith thing actually went. She began believing God would provide an opportunity for her to meet Osmand. People told her she was crazy. Long story shorter, she went, she met him, out of hundreds of girls, she alone walked into rehearsal and met him and his family. God didn't have to give her that. It wasn't a life altering thing, but He did, because He was teaching a little girl that her Daddy loved her and wanted to provide.
I'm 7 or so years behind, but this is my similar walk. Day by day, I wake up, and I ask God to please give me the perseverance to press on in this faith walk. I have less than 2 weeks to acquire half my tuition and I don't see it. It's not here. But I can't not believe in Him. He has become everything to me and I can't help but take Him at His promises. I walked on the beach today while it was drizzling. To see fog over the ocean...it seems like it just drops in nothing. How does God put 20 different colors in a sunrise and make them look beautiful? What am I, that He should be mindful of me? I don't know, but He is. He said so.


I'm presently getting little grass hoppers in my tummy thinking about moving to the other side of the country in 2 months, though it's only through the summer. Maybe one of the best parts about it is I have a purpose in doing it. I'm moving towards something, and not just searching for something, or worse, running away from something. There are two dreams that occupy my thoughts daily, hourly, every spare moment, not to mention my night's dreams frequently: the art of photographic expression and the hearts in Africa. They have been present for years, but now they are my constant companions. It's tiring at some times. But the exciting part is, unlike many that I know, I get to do my dream.
Bill Johnson said once that God is timeless. He lives outside of time, and He has come from your future to your present and placed a muse or dream or word inside you that will get you to where He is with you in the future. I know this to be true because it has begun to happen, like I said, daily. A third dream that is with me always is a warrior of a dream, contending greatly with my focus. I pray God gives him the wits, guts, and running shoes to keep up with my insanity. But we won't go there now.

This post has surely gone on too long. Just know I love rainy days.

...ps-those pictures were taken with an iPhone. Forgive the poor quality :)

sayonara.