living fully alive

First post since my vow to continue sharing my life with you, whomever you may be...
It'll be short, as I am packing fervently for a trip and running out of time faster than that. But Thoreau said, "Write while the heat is in you", thus this rambling...

An epiphany has just hit my head, or my heart, rather. Seems as though it's hit my head many times in the past, but I suppose my heart has just come into a place to receive it.

I have joy (not the epiphany), yes. And I share it with others (not it). But I'm choosy as to whom I bless with it. I realize I've felt as if it's mine to control.
(cue epiphany...)

It's not.

God gave me joy. Something that, as a child/teen, was sparse. Something I strove for. I was prophesied over in July of last summer that I would begin to experience great joy in the next few years in my walk with God and in my walk with others. OTHERS.

I have. It's begun, and I love it.

Why do I feel like, just because somebody has hurt me, broken trust, etc., I have a right to withhold contagious joy from them? It seems such a trivial understanding, once you understand it. gah, that's annoying.

Bill Johnson said you can't simply experience "Kingdom Joy" Spiritually. It will find a way to manifest itself physically as well.

Otherwise it will die.

Joy is given to a person for that person's use and enJOYment (<--see what I did there? baha), yes, but it was also meant to be used as a tool in your "spiritual tool belt", if you will.

I like my joy. I don't want it to die.

Don't let your joy die, please.


Oh and another thing (afterthought, sorry), if you don't have joy, and you want joy, try giving yourself away.

Give time. laughter. love.

love someone. love love love more.


serve. give joy to someone else. it will come back.